Viewing Ideas for Chronically Ill Women to Romance their HusbandsIdeas for Chronically Ill Women to Romance their Husbands
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You may be surprised to know that nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S.A. That means a whole lot of marriages have a third bed partner called 'illness'. Sadly, 75% of marriages that include illness end in divorce. By Lisa Copen The words 'hot and bothered' may spark images of twisted sheets and breathlessly reaching out to the one you love for most people. However if you have a chronic illness, 'hot' likely refers to a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a heating pad on high. 'Bothered' is everything else that happens in bed. Like achy joints that pop when you roll over, a cat that insists on sleeping on your leg, or a spouse who snores through thunder and lightning. Romance may be hard to find in your home! You may be surprised to know that nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S.A. That means a whole lot of marriages have a third bed partner called 'illness' - including mental illness. Sadly, 75% of marriages that include illness end in divorce. Valentine's Day romance is a year-round requirement to keep the communication and joy going in your relationship. So, how do you create that romantic environment when you are in physical pain? I have some creative romantic ideas to get some of that spark back! You have to give it your best effort and avoid excuses. 'I'm so tired and had such a hard day. I feel terrible.' I've said them all so I understand. Unfortunately the circumstances won't likely change, so you have to change your attitude in order to have the benefit of getting to the joy of romance. Let yourself relax and push past the pain and see if you can forget a good chunk of it. Distraction can be a wonderful thing. Make romance a priority in your house! Rather than cleaning your house all day and mopping those floors, take a nap so that you have some quality time with your spouse that night. Make sure he feels valued and important and not just 'one more thing to take care of.' Be enthusiastic during your romantic evening. Even if you're just going out for dinner, don't say, 'I'm doing this just for you. I don't really feel like it.' (Oh, yeah, that will turn him on.) Smile and talk about pleasant memories or dreams you have. Promise yourself not to talk about your illness for just one night. You don't have to write romantic love poems. Just put together a mini-album of your favorite photos and include notes about your memories and how much he means to you. Surely your spouse does some things for you without complaint. Does he bring home your favorite ice cream? Throw in a load of laundry? Never expect you to iron or serve a five-course meal? Write down all the things he does that you don't usually thank him for, and give it to him as a special appreciation note. Women, let's get real. Regardless of your weight, get over feeling self-conscious and buy some underwear from a store that doesn't also sell tires. Learn to text message with your phone and send him a message that says something out of character for you. Be outrageously romantic. Just make sure you send it to the right person in your phone book! Give him a homemade coupon for something he would like but doesn't splurge on very often such as, 'Good for 5 guilt-free hours with your friends watching football.' Avoid making him feel guilty whenever he wants to do something you can't participate in (like going hiking or riding a roller coaster.) Perfect marriages will never exist, but even a marriage that has an illness can be a huge blessing and not just a state of survival. Romance comes in many ways. I remember loving my husband more than ever the night I couldn't move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I 'slept' sitting on the couch and he spent the night on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I screamed from the pain. Love comes in many forms. One of the books I've bought for all the couples in my life is 'Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs' by Emerson Eggerichs. It talks a lot about 'love languages' and how men feel loved when they feel respected, while women want to feel loved with emotions and words. Oftentimes we are offering our spouses what we desire rather than the 'love language' they need. Being aware of all of the small ways we can show each other love and respect adds up to romance when you least expect it. About the Author: Free 40 pages of 'Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend' by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to the HopeNotes chronic illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of the Invisible Illness Awareness website. Article Source: Eulogy Site - http://EulogySite.com More free articles: 1st Rate Articles - 1stRateArticles.com |
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