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 Bereavement Tips: How to Cope with the Loss of Your Mother  
The loss of any family member, let alone a parent, is extremely hard to deal with. Every person processes loss differently. One might find comfort in the simplest of things. Others need a little bit more. This article may be able to help you cope.

By Jennifer Hawkins

The loss of any family member, let alone a parent, is extremely hard to deal with. I personally know these feelings first hand. I lost my mother a few years back.

The pain in the beginning was almost unbearable. However, you slap a smile on and try to get through. A few things I found that helped were hanging pictures of my mother in different places where I passed every day. I also found some small keepsakes that I had gathered over the years and placed them throughout the house.

Finally, I realized that my mother is no longer in pain and that even though she is not here with me, she is in a better place. She is still watching over my family and me. If you have young kids as do I, I found it very helpful talking about her - telling my kids little stories about my childhood and funny little situations that happened with my mother.

Keeping her memories alive can be as simple as wearing some of her old jewelry or just daydreaming. It is better to cherish and revel in the little things than to dwell on the pain and loss.

One of my good friends made it a point to once a week pull out her mother's old recipes, gather the family together, and make a good old home fashioned meal courtesy of "mom" or "grandma". She dedicated the meal to her. Another way is to pass on to your child a tradition that you and your mother had; i.e. knitting, crocheting, scrapbooking, planting flowers ... anything.

These are simple ways to deal with the loss. Now for some, the death of a close relative can be more than they can handle. At that point, you might want to consider talking to a professional. It is never a good idea to keep these feeling bottled up, or they might turn into something much worse. So please, if you find it unbearable, seek help. Do not think that doing so makes you a weak person.

Every person processes loss differently. One might find comfort in the simplest of things. Others need a little bit more. If professional help is something you would never consider, find someone you know and trust, open up, and let out your feelings. When you bottle up those emotions for a long time, they not only affect you, but they start to affect your family and loved ones.

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  Article added 01/06/10.


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