How to be Romantic to your Chronically Ill Wife
PrintDescription: Your wife may be in a great deal of physical pain or suffer from side effects of her illness or medications, such as weight gain or loss, or even feeling sick to her stomach. Be assured that you are not alone. Many people live with chronic illness.
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When your wife is chronically ill, it can be hard for her to think 'romance.' She may be in a great deal of physical pain or also suffer from side effects of the illness or medications, such as weight gain or loss, or even feeling sick to her stomach. She may also be dealing with the loss of her career and dealing with grief.
Be assured that you are not alone. Nearly one in two people in the USA live with a chronic illness; therefore, many marriages are impacted. Unfortunately, nearly 75% of them end in divorce when an illness is that 'third party' in the marriage.
Is it possible for you to make a difference and let her know you want to romance her? Of course! With a few simple ideas, you can get the spark back into your marriage.
Go ahead and buy her that box of chocolate, but if she is watching her weight, don't ruin her diet. Instead, find some Russell Stover's sugar-free chocolate at your local Target or even the pharmacy. Chocolate, along with coconut, pecans, and many more, all contain phenyl ethylamine, a chemical that produces the feeling of 'being in love.' Good place to start, don't you think?
Hold her hand. Yes, I know. You're hoping for more than just holding hands. However, if it takes a woman without an illness awhile to get in the mood, you can imagine the affection she needs in order to forget her physical pain. Rub her back carefully, use an endearing name you haven't used in five years, and don't pressure her for more. Snuggle, cuddle, snuggle as if you will never let her go.
Talk to her about how much you admire her and the way she copes with her illness. Remind her that you're never going anywhere and you feel blessed to be married to someone who shows so much strength in character when her body is weak.
Pamper her by purchasing her something that she wouldn't splurge on for herself. Let her know you are listening to her by purchasing a CD that she says has one of her favorite news songs on it. Buy her a down comforter for a cozier bed. Brainstorm about items that she might enjoy when she isn't feeling well.
Give her a getaway. In short, take the kids out of the house an entire day and don't say anything when you come home at 4 p.m. and she's still in her pajamas.
Write her little love notes and hide them around the house. Or give her a romantic card and write in it - cover one whole panel with your own words.
Being romantic at home isn't hard. Purchase a fondue pot and tell her that you will bring home something to dip every Wednesday night so you two can sit and have a conversation over candlelight (and cheese, chocolate, marshmallows, etc.)
Need conversation starters? Buy a game such as 'To Know You ... Better' or buy a book. Do an Internet search for 'book of questions' for dozens of options. There are still a million things you don't know about each other, and yes, talking does create intimacy.
Take the time to create the atmosphere. The new flameless candles that operate on a battery are great for a romantic environment. Make up a play list on your iPod that will take her back to simpler days. Bring a big bouquet of roses into the bedroom when she isn't looking.
Every woman is different and has different needs, so be sure to communicate to her your desire to increase the romance and ask for her input. Ask, 'What are you most worried about? What can I do to make life easier for you? What can I do to let you know how much I love you?'
The good news is that perfection is not a requirement. Just by making the effort to increase the romance in the relationship will score you some big points. And she may not let you even have a chance to finish reading that book on romancing your wife, because if she sees you reading it, your willingness to read it may be all the romance she needs. One last piece of advice, doing the dishes or the laundry really can be the best way to your wife's heart.
About the Author:
Get a free list of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from 'Beyond Casseroles' by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to the HopeNotes invisible illness eZine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is founder of the Invisible Illness Awareness website. Article Source: Eulogy Site - http://EulogySite.com