How Do You Write a Eulogy? Follow This Step-by-Step Guide
PrintDescription: You have been asked to write and give a eulogy at a loved one's funeral, but need some guidance as to what to say. This article provides easy-to-follow advice in a step-by-step format that will keep you on the right track.
Web Submission
It is not easy to write a eulogy for someone you loved. Below you will find usable information you can apply right now in a step-by-step format.
What is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral that praises and celebrates the life of the deceased. Often the eulogy is written and delivered by a close friend or family member and gives details of the deceased's life and death. The speech usually contains anecdotes and the speaker's fond memories.
A eulogy is a way for mourners to hear about how their loved one was appreciated by other people. It is a way to make peace with the death and to share grief.
Step One: Gather Your Thoughts
The first step is to sit down with paper and pen or at the computer and jot down memories, thoughts, and ideas about the deceased. You do not have to worry about the order or relevancy of the memories now. Later, you can decide what to keep and what to omit from the final version. This is just an exercise to clear your head, start thinking of the deceased, and to get your ideas on paper. While you are doing this, keep the following in mind:
• Recollect stories and anecdotes about the person that were meaningful to you.
• Include highlights of the person's life.
• Jot down notes about the deceased's accomplishments in life or acts of humanitarianism.
• Include information about hobbies, interests, and participation in organizations or associations.
• Include poems, quotes, or biblical references that remind you of the person or that were meaningful to the deceased.
• Think about how he or she would like to be remembered in your eulogy.
• Write about the death and the events leading up to it.
• Write down the effect and influence the deceased had on you and your life.
• Talk with other people giving speeches at the funeral to see what they are writing about. It will help you to remember stories and ensure that there will be no duplicate material.
• Read some written examples of a eulogy at ObituariesHelp.org.
Take as much time as you need to gather your thoughts and write them down. Things may not come to you quickly. If possible, do this exercise then take a break or rest before going on to the next step.
Step Two: Choose a Theme or Focus
The next step is to decide how you want to present the material. If you have collected several stories and ideas, you will have to sort through them to pick out the most important ones. Remember that people want to hear about the deceased from your personal perspective. Including details of their career and accomplishments is important only if it had an impact on you and your relationship with the deceased.
Perhaps a theme or focus appears in all of the stories. For example, if the deceased had a passion for gardening and you have one or a few stories about those gardens, a theme could be gardening. Another way is to present the stories in chronological order. Include the humorous anecdotes as well as the serious.
Deciding on a focus helps you weed out the less important details and keeps your speech easier to write and deliver. The most important thing is to keep the speech personal to you and the deceased. You do not have to include all the stories you can think of, just the ones that were the most meaningful to you.
Step Three: Include Poems, Quotes, and Biblical References
Once you have decided on a theme or focus and have begun to choose which stories you want to include, the third step is to choose poems, quotes, and biblical references. Choose the ones that are meaningful to you or the deceased and that relate the theme or focus and to what you would like to say in your eulogy.
A eulogy does not have to have these, but including them helps people relate to the stories you are telling about the deceased. Usually there is one at either the beginning or ending of the eulogy. If you have found another you would like to include, put it at either the beginning or ending of an individual story within the eulogy. At ObituariesHelp.org, you can find eulogy poem samples.
Step Four: Finishing Touches
The last step of writing the eulogy is to choose an order for your stories, anecdotes, and quotes. Now is the time to make final decisions as to which stories to keep and which to remove from your eulogy. Remember that you will be speaking for as few as two minutes to as many as ten.
To help you decide what to cut or add in, say your speech aloud and time yourself. If you feel it should be longer, add another story, if you feel it should be shorter, cut a story or some details from a story. There is no limit to the length of a eulogy; many funeral homes allow as much time as you need.
Step Five: Practice
Remember to practice your eulogy several times before the funeral. Sometimes the emotions of the day make it difficult to give a speech, but if you are well practiced, the speech will be much easier to say. Say it aloud to someone and ask for feedback, then say it out loud again and again until you feel comfortable with what you are saying.
Do not worry about the emotions of the day; if you are well practiced, you will be able to make it through. If you do by chance succumb to the emotion, let it happen, it is perfectly understandable and acceptable.
You were chosen by the family of the deceased to give the eulogy because of your unique relationship with the deceased, your ability to speak, or your relationship with the family. Giving the eulogy is an honor no matter how difficult it may seem at the time. Speak from the heart and be honest. In most cases, humor and truthfulness are not only suitable but also appreciated.
About the Author:
Melanie Walters recommends ObituariesHelp.org for newspaper obituaries, free genealogy resources, guides to building a family tree, sample letters of sympathy and condolence, and written examples of eulogies as well as help with all aspects of funeral planning. Article Source: Eulogy Site - http://EulogySite.com