Death of a Partner: Finding Love Again
PrintDescription: The very practical problem a survivor can face is loneliness. Some women cope with this by spending more time with their families and friends and taking up new interests. For some women, that is enough. New relationships aren't for everyone.
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Loss of love can be hurtful, whatever its cause. However, there is a different kind of hurt when someone loses his or her love to death. Sometimes it is sudden, which is hard to deal with emotionally, and sometimes financially as well. Other times it can be the result of a long illness, which can be very draining emotionally and physically.
While the love who has died may be sorely missed, the very practical problem the survivor can face is loneliness. Some women cope with this by spending more time with their families and friends and taking up new interests. For some women that is enough. New relationships aren't for everyone.
I had a wonderful and cheerful aunt who was widowed for many years. She never remarried, although I'm sure she could have easily. She always seemed very content with her situation and enjoyed spending a great deal of time with her children and grandchildren.
Other women though, have a loneliness that they realize only having another love and companion can satisfy. There's a difference between being content and 'contenting yourself'. If what you really want is love, be open to possibilities and do something about it, and be as content with your current situation as you can in the meantime, by actively trying to fill it with things that interest you.
Sometimes there may be a wave of 'guilt' because of needing love again. There shouldn't be any. Your deceased spouse had all your time allotted to him. Hopefully, you shared a good life together. Keep those good memories in that special place in your heart that no one can touch. (Any caring new love will be respectful enough to help you honor that.)
However, if your husband was truly in love with you, and saw you aching in loneliness, it is hard to imagine that a truly loving and unselfish husband wouldn't want you to be happy again. If you're thinking, 'You didn't know my _______. He'd never want me with anybody else. Ever.'
If that were the case, he'd be pretty unfair to you and pretty selfish. He is gone and you are still here and need to have a life. You deserve to have one. Value the love you had. Remember the good times, always. Then get on with your valuable time, and make love part of it again. You are worth it and you deserve it. Go for it.
Some women might say 'I could never get married or have a relationship again. There will never be another love like John.' That's true. There won't be. He was an original. We all are. However, that doesn't mean you can't find a different kind of love with another fine man, who has equally praiseworthy characteristics of his own, with whom you could build satisfying tomorrows.
If you are widowed and lonely, I sincerely hope you will give love together with someone else a chance. If you meet the right person, he will make it easier for you to do. You may both have memories, good and not so good of the past, but together you can build a future of love and caring together. Do not feel as if you are abandoning your former time and its memories; you're just adjusting to an uncontrollable changing situation and building a new life for yourself.
Do not worry about what other people think. Sometimes children and friends are aggrieved when a widow decides to date again. They do not have the same perspective you have because of age, or because they haven't been through the experience you've been through.
While they are well meaning most of the time, they are also not the ones who have to take walks alone, eat alone, spend evenings alone, or go to bed without the warmth and comfort of their love next to them. Do what your heart tells you. You can be happy again. When you are, you will wonder why you didn't act sooner. Love and romance are there for the taking. Isn't now the time?
Excerpted from www.datingadvice.us, Dating Advice for Women.
About the Author:
Larry Danks is the creator of www.datingadvice.us, from which this article has been excerpted. Article Source: Eulogy Site - http://EulogySite.com