A Woman's Job No Woman Wants!
PrintDescription: Of all the funerals, cremations, and burials that take place in this country every year, nearly two thirds of these deaths will be planned, arranged, and ultimately paid for by women, because a woman is the surviving member of the marriage.
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Never talked about and seldom acknowledged is the fact that women have by default one of the worst jobs on the planet, namely final arrangement director. Of all the funerals, cremations, and burials that take place in this country every year, nearly two thirds of these estimated 2.3 million deaths will be planned, arranged, and ultimately paid for by women, by default because a woman is the surviving member of the marriage.
It is a basic fact of life that women currently outlive men. So when a funeral is about to take place, it is usually a woman who must walk through this agonizing series of events, try to navigate the myriad of decisions, well over 120 in the first 24 hours, and keep her wits about her. All the while, she is feeling the same anxiety, grief, anger, fear, and emotional stress that all her other loved ones are experiencing.
Despite the fact that women will be making these decisions, few women know much about this critical and often exceedingly expensive event. It is not unusual for a recent widow to have to write a check or authorize the spending of $6,000 to $10,000 in a matter of an hour or two. Without some knowledge of what the final arrangements process is, this widow is at the mercy of whomever it is she called to help her make these arrangements.
Readers' Digest put it best in their 1989 Consumers Adviser when they described the final arrangements decision process this way, 'Few consumers would ordinarily admit to spending $5,000 or more on something that they knew little or nothing about. Yet every day thousands of Americans do just that when a family member dies. On short notice, with their judgment often clouded by grief or guilt, they turn to the nearest funeral director to tell them what to do. While few people are comfortable about discussing funerals in advance, it is really a very poor idea to decide on arrangements under the pressure of time and emotional stress.'
If a couple is typical, they will have spent a grand total of 20 minutes or so during the entire course of their marriage seriously discussing the subject, if at all. As they used to say, 'this is no way to run a railroad.' Yet, this is what happens thousands of times every day in this country when someone passes away.
The good news is that information and help is available to learn something about the final arrangements process. It doesn't mean walking into your local funeral parlor to get a look at the new line of caskets for this year. It doesn't have to cost a dime to create a complete final arrangements plan, and it can be done without all the emotional stress, but rather in a logical, cost effective, yet dignified manner for all concerned.
If a husband and wife, particularly the wife, since statistics say she will more than likely be the one making the arrangements in the end, would take the time to find some key answers, talk about the subject, and write out some kind of preplanning ideas, a lot of emotional trauma would be spared.
Some general topics would at least give women a basic knowledge base, so that they wouldn't be completely naive when they are actually called upon to coordinate this event. What needs to be decided, at least in broad strokes, are the following:
•Know where key documents are located. These include wills, trusts, bank accounts, military records, deeds, mortgages, insurance, etc.
•Do you want to be cremated, buried, entombed, etc.?
•What kind of funeral do you each want?
•How much should be spent?
•Where do you want to be buried or scattered if that is your choice?
•Where will the money come from for whatever you are deciding to do?
•Do you have a particular funeral home in mind?
•Should you purchase some things in advance, such as cemetery property, funeral services, caskets, etc.?
These are just the rudimentary parts, to begin thinking about the final arrangements' planning process. You can call or visit a funeral home or cemetery and often get booklets that lay out many of the things you need to jot down.
An even easier way is to simply go online, and if you search for 'final arrangements' or more specific parts of what you're thinking about, like 'cremation', 'cemetery lots for sale', etc., you will be amazed at all the information you find. The nice thing about some of these sites is that you can actually use an online program that will allow you to create a plan and use their tutorials to learn what you should know.
Two such sites with a wealth of information are www.finalarrangementsnetwork.com and www.preplannet.com. You can do your own searches for information such as 'cemetery lots for sale', 'cremation arrangements' or simply 'final arrangements'.
Just about every aspect of this subject is out there on the Internet for you to learn about privately before you ever have to face the emotional and financial burdens of those final arrangements for someone you love.
Yes, women have a job that they would prefer not to ever have, and, for sure, would never apply for. Hopefully they will have learned something about the job in advance.
About the Author:
Copyright 2004 by RW Ward, Essexville, Michigan, USA - www.finalarrangementsnetwork.com. The author writes and studies marketing and consumer trends in deathcare around the world. His industry experience includes some of the world's largest deathcare providers. Article Source: Eulogy Site - http://EulogySite.com